Rant
In math, there is a wrong answer, and a right answer. There is no in-between. There are formulas to figure out problems and symbols to represent unknown things. Even infinity has a symbol. And that, friends, is why I like it so much.
Sometimes I wish life was more like math. I wish there was a certain formula or equation to figure out where my life is headed, or why people act a certain way. Or why things happen to me.
I hate that the two people I should be able to depend on the most are acting like children. It’s a constant battle, and somehow I always get caught in the cross-fire. I feel so alone here— any family that I could potentially reach out to lives 10 states away, and besides, they have lives.
Which is another thing I don’t have— A life. I feel like between work, school, and trying to keep the house tied down, I’ve sacrificed my rights as a teenager. Sometimes the big three (work, school, and family) interfere with each other, and that’s where things get complicated…
I try not to bitch like this, but you have to realize how hard it is… recently, one of the people who has made me the most happy has just walked out of my life, which introduced the terrible depression that comes along with rejection. This is a feeling that I could have gone my whole life without knowing and died a happy young lady (the random crying and mood swings is not fun for anyone).
But anyways, I’ll let everyone get back to their knitting. Have a great day.
Person I admire redo
Olivia, (I hope you don’t mind that I’m writing about you, and without your permission.) There are so many things I admire about you. You are so sweet and kind to every single living, breathing thing on the earth. You never judge people, which is an amazing virtue to hold. You have overcome the most insane pressures of life, and you’ve seen and experienced in your 18 years of life more than most people ever do in their lifetimes. I hate that we’ve lost contact over the years, but I promise, we will get together soon. Because I miss my cousin, and my heroine. Love bekki
No one in particular really does, aside from Tyson, but he’s always on my mind <3
The person I wish I could be
This one is so hard, because I love myself so much and I wouldn’t want to change anything about my life. LOLJK!!!!
Olivia Gauvin
I miss you more than anything girl.
Someone I miss the most
Tyson :(
God, I guess I should start off by saying I’m sorry, for everything. I’m a sinner and it’s in my nature to turn from the good to indulge in the bad. I don’t know why I’ve drifted from you. We used to have such a strong relationship. I think religion may be to blame. Over the years, I’ve learned that church is not the best place in the world, despite it’s claims. It was not your plan for church to become so corrupt and backwards, but, as always, man has found a way to make it so. I used to love going to church, because I felt like it brought my family together for a couple of hours and it made me feel like less of a bad person. But after seeing the discrimination and stereotyping that goes on there, I decided it wasn’t worth it. I refuse to believe that ‘all Catholics go to hell’ and that ‘the world was created for man, and so was woman’. That’s crap. Only you know the souls of the living, and anyone who tries to do that for you is a blasphemer. And I don’t like being around them. And I’ll admit that I don’t read your Word as much as I should, but I will. And hopefully this ‘drifting’ crap will subside. Love bekki
God, I guess I should start off by saying I’m sorry, for everything. I’m a sinner and it’s in my nature to turn from the good to indulge in the bad. I don’t know why I’ve drifted from you. We used to have such a strong relationship. I think religion may be to blame. Over the years, I’ve learned that church is not the best place in the world, despite it’s claims. It was not your plan for church to become so corrupt and backwards, but, as always, man has found a way to make it so. I used to love going to church, because I felt like it brought my family together for a couple of hours and it made me feel like less of a bad person. But after seeing the discrimination and stereotyping that goes on there, I decided it wasn’t worth it. I refuse to believe that ‘all Catholics go to hell’ and that ‘the world was created for man, and so was woman’. That’s crap. Only you know the souls of the living, and anyone who tries to do that for you is a blasphemer. And I don’t like being around them. And I’ll admit that I don’t read your Word as much as I should, but I will. And hopefully this ‘drifting’ crap will subside. Love bekki
Someone I need to ask forgiveness from
Dear ERHS guidance department, I’m really sorry for calling you and practically screaming into the phone the other day. That was really rude of me, I’m a good kid and I don’t normally lose my temper like that. And I’m sorry. Bekki
Sometimes, I think it’s myself. Not in the emo- cut yourself kind of way, but more of a “you are your own worst critic” sense. Whenever something goes wrong, my knee-jerk response is, “you were involved, you didn’t prevent it, therefore it is your fault”. And from that mindset brings unwanted, uncalled-for pain.
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